What started as a way for me to tap into learning how to relax and play with my inner child, has become a deeply spiritual journey. Even though I have not been soaping for long, I feel myself tapping into a deep ancestral knowledge and as I follow my intuition, I am creating products that people are magnetically drawn too. I must admit that the feedback on my products has surprised me. Over the last year during my spiritual awakening, I have left behind the people who would make me small and the belief that I do not amount to much. Within this journey of soapmaking, I have reclaimed my muchness.
It started a couple of years ago. I tried to make a goat milk soap with no idea of what I was doing. Did you know lye has a chemical reaction to aluminum? Did you also know that goat milk with its sugar has a tendency to burn under the intense heat of lye in the saponification process? Me either. At the time I was in a relationship with someone who would make me small, and at the time, and I accept full responsibility for this, I let him make me small. He was one of the people I left behind to step into my muchness.
Interestingly, the pandemic had its blessings and it was the catalyst for my growth. It gave me the space I needed to heal and reclaim myself. This year, I picked up soaping again and this time I had way more information. My tendency would be to not move ahead on anything until I had all the angles figured out. When people can control all the angles it provides a false sense of security because who really has it all figured out and how can we guarantee the result will be what we imagined? In the last year, I have learned to let go of the outcome and find the flow in the process. Soapmaking has become a form of meditation for me and in that place my intuition is strongest.
The real tipping point came when I was invited to Fort Macleod to be a vendor at the Farmer’s Market there. I already had a small inner circle who fully backed and supported my foray into being my own boss. At the Farmer’s Market, I found a community who had no reason to provide that kind of support and yet, they did. I found my soul tribe and through the process and their feedback, I began to see myself, and my product, as others see it. I began to believe in myself, and my inner knowing and as I believed in that, it became stronger. Old belief systems were falling away to be replaced by new ones that better supported me and my choice to thrive from a healthier place.
When I was a teacher’s aide, I had a student quote John Wayne to me. “Courage is being afraid and saddling up anyway.” As people embrace the wholesomeness of my product, I find the interest in my product exceeds my expectations. I am on the tipping point of increasing production to meet the demand and one of the other vendors at the market said exactly what I needed to hear at that moment. I am a one-man operation, I have a good product, and it’s all about experimenting and doing the best I can with what I have. The customer will understand and that is the customer who becomes part of the tribe.
What started as a whimsical way to embrace my inner child became an integral part of my journey. Those who have been with me for awhile know I have changed the names on some of my products. Heart of Ta Fiti became Harmony because it is a sea salt soap and the spiritual meaning of the ocean, or one of them, is harmony, the bridge between worlds. Rip Van Winkle became Cosmic Journey because the lavender and chamomile induce relaxation which is conducive for meditation. Koala Dreams became Awakening because as described on my product information page, eucalyptus has a way of burning away the old to make room for the new. I feel it important to note that one’s spiritual journey is a very personal life event. I do not impose; I merely share since I understand we are all at different places along the way. I want to say we are always exactly where we are meant to be. Some of us seem to stay stuck in a loop trying to learn the same lesson over and over. The idea is to reach a place of accountability and responsibility for ourselves however, not all of us make it. Life is hard enough without having to worry about what everyone else is doing so I believe the idea is to understand we can only control ourselves and let that be our focus. We may not always understand the why’s in life, but isn’t that the great mystery? We won’t have all the answers and sometimes, we just need to be okay with that. When we understand there is a mystery, we step into a space of faith and trust in something greater than ourselves. It is in the space of silence where the magic happens.